151 Main Street Epping, NH 03042

ALLEY OFFICERS FOR 2005 - 2006
PRESIDENT:------Mary Ellen"Delight" Sheehan --- 603-772-0029
VICE PRES:------- Alan "Alley-oop" Flagg --------- 978-454-5991
TREASURER:----- Dave "TOPPER" - Anderson ---- 603-382-4426
SECRETARY:----- Barbara Novak ------------------   603-926-0558
SGT-AT-ARMS:--- Brian "Nutty" Hills --------------  978-828-6174

Hospital Clowning 
with
Nurse Valium
aka Alan "Alley Oop" Flagg

Super Splendiferous Balloon Class 
by none other than

CHARLIE FOGARTY

Regular Business
Secretary's report - accepted as read.
Treasurer's report - Treasurer was not present, but "there is money."
Old Business
Military event in December - was "staffed" by Dave Anderson, Dave Dobbs, "Oliver Twist," and Sue Prior.  As always, the families of those who are deployed were grateful for the entertainment - especially the unplanned escape of one of Oliver's doves.
New Business
Clown Day 2006 - By a bit of serendipitous luck, the librarian was working while we were meeting and we were able to set the date for Clown Day as June 24.
COAI Annual Report for Alley is due soon.  Please send your COAI number to our Secretary, Barbara Novak, so Mary can complete the report.
Show & Tell
Newsworthy - Brian shared a mention of his activities in the Hampton Union.
Surprise, surprise - Alley Oop related how while playing Santa Claus, he ended up with a wet lap after one particular youngster sat on him for a while.
January 1st birthday - My apologies to whoever this New Year's baby was.  I neglected to note his name, but do remember he was THE New Year's baby for his town.
A hat to die for - Brian modeled a new Thanksgiving hat that his sister gave him.  
Sympathy - With great sadness, Cheezo told us that Sadie is gone.  The group expressed its sympathies.  She will be missed by all who knew her.

The business meeting adjourned about 8:00.  Following refreshments, Dave demonstrated his substantial balloon talents.

DELIGHT’s Ringside chat

Hi Pounds of Clowns,

I have no idea what the your Vice- President is planning for the Februarys meeting.

Who remembers this group from August of 1998?

If you look closely you can see the Clown Shoes on the Cow in the middle.  Pounds of Clowns used this drawing on the posters for an Aug 1998 Clown Convention that was held in NH at the Wayfarer Inn in Bedford.  What a lot of planning we at the alley put into the convention.

Speaking of planning, February is the month I try and get an idea of what I spent and earned clowning over the past year. Some of this activity has to with taxes but it is also the time I start planning the upcoming start-up of Clown Season expenses. Starting the year with the enough cash to renew my clown insurance, replenish my supplies of balloons and give-a-ways is key for getting back up to speed for the year. (I usually hold on to my Dec. Clown earnings so I don’t have to

take anything out of the household budget.)

 I also think about just how much clowning my full time job and home responsibilities allows me to do well. I learned early on that “Clown Burn Out” comes on very fast if you don’t plan on getting enough rest and down time. It is possible to work, clown and stay on an even keel if you do some planning. Be sure to look at your time realistically, doing less sometimes means you have time to do things better.

I am wishing each of you best, I am on vacation in Italy the week of the meeting, I will toss some coins in a fountain in Rome for all of your wishes to come true.

Bump a Nose

Mary Delight Sheehan

Editor's note:  When I e-mailed Mary, "What about the newsletter?," the attached is what I received. I am not sure if she meant to use it as this month's Ringside chat, but at this late date, it is what I have and it is what I'll print.  It will make you smile on this snowy weekend.  And that's an order!

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
     Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
     Tame way, Unique up on it.
How do crazy people go through the forest?
     They take the Psycho Path.
How do you get holy water?
     You boil the hell out of it.
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
     Dam!
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
     Polaroids.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
     A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
     Nacho cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
     Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
     Quattro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
     Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
     Frostbite.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
    A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
     Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a man with no legs?
     Right where you left him.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
     Because they have big fingers.
Why don't blind people like to skydive?
     Because it scares the dog.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
     Sanka.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
     The location of the dirt bag.
Why did a Pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
     Because he  wore his belt buckle on his hat.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
     A bad golfer goes, whack, dang!
     A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
     Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Now admit it.
At least one of these made you smile.

Bump a Nose
Mary “DELIGHT” Sheehan

Alley 54
2nd Tuesday
First Baptist Church Salem MA 7:30 pm

Hap’s Alley
1st Monday
 Bagnall School Groveland, MA 7:00 pm

Granite State Clowns
4th Monday
Salvation Army Nashua NH 7:00 pm

The Society of American Magicians
1st Wed.
First Baptist Church Salem MA 7:30 pm

South Shore Joeys  
1st and 3rd Mondays
Abington First Baptist Church 7:30 pm

Links to these Alley  web sites
are on our site under LINKS

If you are interested in magic, balloons, juggling,  

or clowning in general, 

Come on down to Epping

(or Dover this month)!

We would love to see you there!